BDSM in bed: Healthy fun or relationship killer?

BDSM has become more widely known in recent years. Popular books and films, including Fifty Shades of Grey, have also contributed to its popularity.

However, opinions on it vary - some see it as a welcome diversion, others as a deviation or even a threat to partner relationships. Is BDSM really that dangerous or is it good for you?

What is BDSM?

At first glance, the seemingly innocuous acronym BDSM covers several sexual practices, namely bondage, domination, submissiveness, and sadism and masochism. This includes a wide range of different sexual play from relatively harmless practices to more extreme activities that often involve receiving and inflicting pain.

Among couples, popular examples include:

• tying,
• candle burning,
• humiliating the other partner,
• role-playing,
• playing with knives, needles or electrostimulation.

The basis of BDSM is always the consent of all participants, mutual trust and respect for agreed boundaries. The goal is not to hurt the other person, but to perform practices that bring pleasure to the other person.

Benefits and risks of BDSM activities for couples

For many couples, exploring BDSM can be an enrichment to their sex life. Communicating and agreeing on the rules before and during the act leads to deeper intimacy and strengthened mutual trust.

Communication is important in a relationship, but most couples neglect it. Who knows, maybe BDSM play will help you open up more. Moreover, some fans attribute them to an almost therapeutic effect, where they relax and relieve excess stress.

On the other hand, there are also possible pitfalls of BDSM to mention. First and foremost, beware of performing some techniques incorrectly. They risk physical injury and can trigger a negative reaction in more psychologically vulnerable individuals or bring back past traumas.

Unfortunately, disagreements between partners about BDSM can lead to frequent arguments and relationship breakdowns. If you're squeamish and your partner prefers the classics, it's not a good idea to push the envelope.

How to incorporate BDSM into your sex life?

As mentioned, open and honest communication between partners is a prerequisite for safe BDSM. Set clear rules and boundaries beforehand and respect those at all times.

At the same time, keep in mind that BDSM is only part of your intimate life, not the whole relationship. When the act is over, leave your roles and come back to reality. Simply put, peppy play in bed shouldn't define your personality, it should only bring you pleasure.

Last but not least, think about the fact that not everyone is a fan of BDSM. Sit down, talk about what you expect from your relationship and your sex life, and try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

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